Milestones

It's my second-to-last night in Salamanca and I can't believe that I'm actually a little sad. How is this possible? After enduring two summers of no air-conditioning, people treating me like I'm an idiot (speaking to me in English as if I became enrolled in this program by pure magic), and spending 48 hours/week in class, I thought I would only be more than happy to hop on the bus on Saturday morning. I am extremely happy to go home, of course. First and foremost to see my new husband and begin my adventure of living with a guy for the first time in my life. Second, to taste the sweetness of normal beet sugar rather than cane sugar (it's not sweet!). To not eat rabbit at lunch. To feel cold air blowing on me in the house and in the car. To not pass hookers on my afternoon walk.

Despite all the things I have missed and can't wait to have back, I can't help but feel sad. I've spent the last three summers in Spain, not to mention a year here when I was younger. This country feels like a home to me more than ever place ever will besides, of course, HOME. I will miss getting up before sunrise and running, feeling as though I'm in the movie Vanilla Sky where the world has ended and Tom Cruise is the ONLY person in the street. I actually was in Madrid for the premiere of Vanilla Sky, which comes from the Spanish movie "Abre los ojos". (It is totally dead around here at 6:15 a.m. Unbelievable. And dark at that. Until quarter to seven. How is that possible in the summertime?) I will miss the rigorous schedule and constant studying. (I know, I am sick.) After I started packing tonight I felt a little strange having only one exam to study for. I certainly am not stressed out enough. I actually went to the bar in the dorm after dinner. I can just about count on one hand the number of drinks I have had since the end of June - that is how much work there has been to do.

I cannot wait to take a break next summer and finally experience the relaxing summer than I have not yet had since I started teaching. Triathlon training, cooking, basking in the glory of my recently completed thesis... It just feels strange, and a little sad, that this is the end of my Spain days. On the other hand, I finished my Master's in Spanish. Hell yeah.

thoughts & few pictures

The teachers I am in Salamanca with are very different from me. Granted, I have my small Salamanca "family" of a few close friends who I eat, study and sit with in class, and last night was an awakening as to why I hang out with the people I do. Last night made me realize that bigger differences exist between not only me and the many native speakers (there are only five non-native Spanish speakers in my class), but also between me and the "married" people on the program. Why does the work require quotation marks? Because apparently this program, rather than being an amazing educational experience, serves as a mere escape from reality for many people. There are quite a few married people on the program who do not wear their wedding ring and quite obviously try to hide the fact that they have a spouse and, in some cases, a famiy. Last night a birthday celebration turned into midnight in the plaza with a few classmates. I will spare the many details of a conversation I had with one of the girls, but share a very important event that resulted from the evening. I called it a night around 12:30, but everyone else went out. Well, the girl I'd been talking to all night, sharing stories about marriage and her and her husband's decision to start trying to have a baby when she returns from Salamanca,apparently had a visitor last night. My friends and I saw them leave our dorm together this morning. She made eye contact with one of my friends as she left the building, but she looked down and ignored my friend. I cannot stop thinking about this. It makes me sick that this is what people are doing on this program. I felt like I was the only person last night, other than one other man at the table, who had these wonderful, happy stories about my relationship and wedding. I'm keeping my distance now from certain people and using my remaining weeks to concentrate only on my classes, my yoga and running and the things that I want to do here (photos I want to take, etc.). It is strange to feel left out because you are doing the right thing!